" Well now, do tell, do tell who is the vile bastard that has caused all this strife"
Small swirls and eddies play through the mist as the voice rebounds around the plaza. Slowly the mist started to churn at the centre of the plaza, forming the shape of a short rotund man in a bright red long coat.
" So glad to see your sense of style did not desert you like the rest of your sanity, Lucas " said Crow.
" Caw, caw, it speaks. Shut your trap when confronted by your betters." Lucas danced a few steps. Twirling around he unleashed a wave of burning mist towards Crow.
Crow's aura solidified into a wall of pure darkness, swallowing the burning mist.
"Pathetic as always."
With a smile Crow retaliated, blades of darkness lashing out towards Lucas. Blades tore into the fat little man shredding his cloak. His body fell to the cold stone torn to pieces, red mist leaking into the air from thousands of cuts.
A shrill piercing laugh, screaming from the surrounding mist.
"Did you honestly think it would be that easy, come on Crow! Show me what you got.
Are you scared of the fat little man, poor old INSANE little me!"
Giggling like a school girl, Lucas steps out of the mist.
"You missed."
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i would omit the power part of "he unleashed his power, a wave..."
ReplyDeleteswallowing the burning mist is enough... saying into nothingness is over kill.
shredding like (wet, burnt, tearing) paper
red mist leaking out into the air.
the last line seems like an episode of DBZ. i would work it a bit more.
i love the tension in this pice. you really do get a feel for the characters.
:) great stuff (use more adj)